The Chipstack: Fun trip, bad pokah

In the movie Tin Cup, the night before the first round of the US Open, Roy McAvoy (Kevin Costner's character), gets drunk, nearly misses his tee time the next day, and on the first tee, he goes against his nature, by hitting an iron off the tee, rather than a driver. He says, "No driver. Iron. Be humble."

He posts a big number on the board, and his caddie (Cheech Marin), says, "you're humble NOW, Holmes."

That would be me, after Vegas. I went to Vegas with high hopes and higher expectations. Mistakes #1 and #2.

Had a monster trip in 2007 and Vegas evened the score with me in 2008. I still had fun, but the cards were not kind--everything from running ice cold, and folding more than a laundromat, to having big hands cracked. I think the whole week I was there, I made exactly 4 draws (when the price was right to seek them out), and I saw A LOT of hands. No bad beat stories, no miraculous river re-draws. Just a week of "meh" poker. I was glad for our boys that were grinding out the cash games. One broke even after a horrible start, while another flopped a Royal at the Golden Nugget (that was a nice $600 bonus), and ended up over 1K to the good for his trip.

Again, I had a blast, and my trip was not without highlights. First:

Sunday (when we got to town), Mrs. Chipstack and I sat in a tourney at Fitzgerald's (I love that place). I busted early, setting the theme for my week, while she came home in 2nd!

Another confirmation of her ability to play the game. She played beautifully, and I was having a hard time sweating her--I see what she means when she says she gets nervous watching me (obviously fearing the next moment of combustion when I start throwing chips around). The guy seated next to her is a retired computer dude (read--he got out of computers when the time was right, and profited nicely), who is turning his attention to poker full time. Nice fella, and I sat with him quite a bit. Heck of a player, too. Didn't get out of line, moved his chips well, overall, a treat to play with. Oh, and he alerted me that ESPN has the rights to his image, since he played in the WSOP, but considering this blog is not for profit (notice the vast amounts of space where ad revenue could go), I'm not violating any laws. I'll remove it if the "worldwide leader" gets edgy.

Tuesday, the group heads over the Planet Hollywood (another poker room I adore), for the Ladies Tournament. There was some confusion, and we found out the Ladies event began at 9, not 7. At 7 was the normal "open" event. I decide to jump into that, play some good hands, get it all in behind, and lose (again), but I had the true honor of sitting with Hal Lubarsky.

That name won't mean anything to you, unless you are a WSOP broadcast junkie like me. Hal is the legally blind player, that has a card reader (another person) sitting next to him when he plays hold 'em. I got mixed up in one pot with him, where he raised it from mid position with 7-7, I call from the BB with K-J suited in spades, flop a straight draw, and a turn a flush draw, whiff on the end. He only bet the flop, which I called (thinking I could connect, lol). We both checked the turn and the river, he won, and scooped. The guy working as his reader was church-mouse quiet. Nice guy, too, when he did speak. The players at my end of the table were asking me about Hal, and I told them all I could, even asking Hal across the table about his 2007 Main Event finish.

Me: Hal, top 200 in Main Event last year?

Hal: Yes, 172.

That was the extent of our table chatter, other than me saying "nice hand" when his 77 was tall. Hal went on to money in that event (don't know where he finished), but he then sat in a cash game. I walked over to him, and shook his hand, and said it was amazing to watch him play (think about the lack of information he has to deal with). He said "who is this?" I told him we sat together in the tournament, and he says "oh yeah, you were in seat 2, the guy from Chicago." Correct on both counts. I told ya, he was amazing.

After I busted out, I watched Mrs. Chipstack reach for the Advil on more than one occasion--it was mind-numbing how horrendous the play was. Not by my wife, but by the other women in the tournament. The Mrs. raised it from early position on one occasion with KK, and got 2 callers. Flop comes off 9 high, all rags, she bets the flop, 1 fold, 1 call. Turn another brick, she bets, caller calls. River 4, it goes check check, they showdown, and the caller had 9-4, making 2 pair on the river.

HUH?????

As we made our way back to the car, the Mrs. delivered the line of the night: "I know for sure now, that I'm not a shitty player."

At last, my message sinks in.

As for the remainder of the trip, the highlight may have been Thursday night, into Friday morning. After a night of poker, keno, and other forms of Vegas entertainment, Swanee, Volsfan, the Mrs. and I head to breakfast at Four Queens. The drink gal comes over, we order 4 sodas (or as Swanee calls them ,"pops"). The drinks are delivered, our server comes by to take the order. 3 get breakfast, and Swanee orders the open-face turkey sandwich (which looked amazing by the way). Upon delivery of the food, Swanee asks the server for some shredded cheese, for her mashed potatoes.

10 minutes of eating and talking elapse, no cheese.

Another 10 minutes, still no cheese.

Drink gal comes by, and I flag her down, and quite politely ask her if she could scare up some cheese for Swanee. She says, "I'll be right back" or something to that effect.

Next person to the table, is the shift manager, who asks, "is there a problem here?" I say, no, we just wanted some shredded cheese (which incidentally, FINALLY arrived as the manager was chatting with us).

Manager walks away, and Mrs. Chipstack is laughing so hard, she is crying. It leads to all of us laughing and asking, "what is so funny?"

Through her tears, Mrs. Chipstack says that the drink gal, likely only understands a handful of words, "Pepsi. Coffee. Water." While this is normally NOT the funniest thing ever, given the amount of liquor that was consumed that evening, it may have been the funniest thing said by any human being over an early morning breakfast.

Yep, you just had to be there. I can't wait to go back. I also brought back some goodies for the chip collection, they are below.